The statistics are not in our favour. 1.3 million people in the UK live with an eating disorder and around 75% of these are female*. We hear from Jessica Briggs, Deputy Head (Pastoral) at Sherborne Girls School on how we can support girls in having a more positive body image, especially as it starts much younger than the teen years. We must avoid allowing girls, or anyone else, to define themselves by their looks alone, as our girls are so much more than a face or body!

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The effect of social media

Surrounding girls with people who are body positive and encouraging parents and carers to open conversations with their daughters on who they follow on social media (do they make you feel good about yourself? If not, it’s time to press ‘unfollow’), are certainly good places to start. A focus on social media has the advantage of enabling parents to discuss body image without it being personal or regarded as intrusive.

When looking at images of people online it is useful to reflect on the difference between ‘Instagram and Reality’. We need to remind girls of how different what we see might be to the reality, thanks to all the self-editing and photoshop tools that can be used to manipulate pictures.

What can you do as a parent?

How parents and carers feel is inextricably linked to how their children feel: parents who dislike the way they look are more likely to produce children who dislike the way they look.

Try not to complain about parts of your body you don’t like and shield your child from discussions over diets, weight and ‘good foods/ bad foods’. Conscious efforts to focus on building self-esteem should also be at the heart of a body positive strategy.

What should you say?

Frustratingly, constantly telling your daughter that she is beautiful will not help; in her mind you are biased! Gentle challenging can be a more effective way to approach teenage body issues and will help your daughter to break the negative loop.

Questions such as ‘I notice that you can be negative about your skin/hair/height/shape, how does that make you feel?’ Or ‘I know that we all have things about ourselves that we don’t like very much, what is it you do like about yourself?’ Try to link discussions around body image to puberty; reassuring your daughter that big changes in body shape are positive, normal and necessary and that everyone develops at different times and stages.

Help them to see the bigger picture

Ultimately, it is our character, values, personality, talents, skills, interests, and connections with others which really define who we are. If we want to beat the statistic then we need to move away from the next generation viewing their bodies as objects to be assessed, rated and praised and instead help them to see their bodies as a reflection of their strength, health and commitment to taking care of themselves and ability to care and support others.

*BEAT, 2021

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